A World Of Candy: January 2009

Is kinda funny... i can cook better than i can put things in words... finding the correct words and line to say seems like hard for sometimes... but that doesn't mean that i don't know how to talk... i do... i talk a lot. but most of the time and most of the things i say is not important.

Is that a curse? i know my EQ is much higher than my IQ. how i wish that my EQ and my IQ is a balance sheet. talking too much sometimes makes me feel like a fool. Sugar rush is just an excuse for me to talk even more. but talk about what? RUBBISH... It's cool that sometimes we can talk rubbish. but not most of the time. I really need to find a way to cure this kind of rubbish talk. If anyone read this. Please drop me a comment and tell me how to cure such a sick and suck curse.

Is there any friends that really care? Or is there any friends that will not betray you? if you can find 1, congrat... you have a friend that you need to appreciate for the rest of your life. Until this moment, i can't find 1. sorry guys... but just that sometimes and somethings i don't and i won't tell you guys.

Is it going crazy is a cure for lonely? a lot of time i found myself going crazy, not in a bad way but just that feel like releasing myself to a level that nobody will understand. standing at the edge of a high building just to think should i jump or should i not. but... too bad i got no guts to jump... hahaha... doing somethings crazy... eating some crazy... will that help?

Is it bad when sometimes you talk about the truth? or is it bad when you speak something related to yourself that are the truth? Is it human must act no matter what you do and go? Is it when you facing the person that you love you have to act too? All this question makes someone to think... Like pastor said. Think How... Is it asking me to think how to act? or is it teaching me how to do something without act? Confuse...

I want to finish my studies as soon as possible... leaving everything behind and go some place to start everything all over again. to a place where nobody know me, to a place where nobody can find me, is that cruel? or is it i get a little bit selfish? i don't know... Let God decide for me.