A World Of Candy

Saturday, February 14, 2009

What Is Love???

John 15:13

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

What is LOVE?

LOVE is when you can say to someone,"I Love You"
LOVE is when you get to hold someone's hands.
LOVE is when you can talk on the phone for hours.
LOVE is when you give a hug to someone.
LOVE is when you got to accompany her for shopping for hours.
LOVE is when you give someone a massage.
LOVE is when you show someone you care!
LOVE is a good feeling.
LOVE is emotional and sweeps me off my feet!
LOVE is unexceptionably magical!
LOVE is laughing and crying together.
LOVE is buying presents.
LOVE is carrying each other's burden.
LOVE is lending someone your shoulder!
LOVE is generous!
LOVE is trans-ethnicity!
LOVE is trans-geographical!
LOVE is trans-generational!
LOVE is color-blind.
LOVE is food to the soul!

This is something that really makes me feel that love is in the air. although i am single right this moment. That makes me feel that i'm ready to get into love again. Pastor Was right on this because all this goes to 1 meaning.

LOVE GIVES. LOVE SACRIFICES.

Sacrifices yourself to the relationship is something sounds easy and hard to everyone. Not everyone can do that. A lot of human can be a good Lover. But now a good Keeper. And i'm one of it. Keeping a relationship running is harder to make a relationship start. For my record, the longest relationship i had before, 6 months. End with pain. I Don't have God in my life back than.

But right now, i uphold myself to God and i know that God will provide me with someone that is right for me by time is correct. And i know, with God help i can and i will make my relationship stay longer and maybe forever till the point i got married and live until the last day of my life. Nobody will read my blog but who cares. is just a place that i can release my thoughts and feeling.

If there are someone that is reading this. Leave me a comment. As random as you can be. Thanks. And God bless you all...

Monday, February 2, 2009

unexplainable feeling...

I Thought i already got over all this... but... i never know that when she told me that she got someone else in her mind now. and i can't take that feeling. why? can someone tell me why? i know is a bit weird of that feeling... but is just that i can't seems to know how to react. nor just ask me to reply. maybe my EQ is not that high as i expect it is. too much of feeling had been put in? i don't know. but is just that i can't even smile and laugh or cry or angry right now. totally emotionless.

maybe is just me? that i put too much of feeling in it? or maybe i thought she's the one that i want to marry? or maybe is my ego that can't let go? why? a lot of changes happen to me recently... from a heavy smoker, heavy drinker, swearing king, clubber, junk food eater. and right now i turn to be a a non smoker, non drinker, don't swear, don't club, no junk food and i even go church.

change for someone that you like or love is perfectly ok. but while come and think about it... is it worth it? i don't know. being myself? i tried to be myself as much as i possible can. because she say that i got too many things hiding.

the feeling of brokenness is totally hitting on me. should i press all this feeling down? or should i let it go in anyway? feel like dissapearing for a while. but where else can i go? i need to finish my diploma... concentrate on my studies? i don't even know how to do that now. should i continue going to church? if i do i'll see her. i can't bare myself to see her with another guy.

is it my fault? God give me this plan that i don't even know how to go with it...

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Stone Heart

Yea... I do have a stone heart. hiding a lot of secret and also hiding a lot of things in my life. been broken down almost all the time, but who cares... right? i am what i am. God knows me. the one and only one that knows me well enough is God. right? i'm not trying to be negative over here. but is just too much...

Been betray, been stab at the back, been untrusted, been put aside, all this SHIT happens. betray by a person that i consider close with me. stab me from behind and scare i won't die. been untrusted by the person i like, untrusted by family. putting aside all my assignment by classmates. all this SHIT... Pastor use to teach us THINK HOW. but it seems like i unable to think how or should i say unable to think at all.

been left alone in assignment that needed at least 4 person to fulfill it is suffering. a lot more jobs have to be done. i know when i concentrate i can finish it by a split second but it seems like i can't concentrate at all. too much had happen and can't seem to work it out.

too much of secret,
too much not to get shared by people.
too much stress,
too much to realize it.
too much of tiredness,
too much of releasing it.
too much of pressure,
too much to depressing it.
too much of work,
too much for me to fulfill it.

Human.... Attitude Disgust Me...!!!

Friday, January 30, 2009

EQ vs IQ, Think How vs Think How, Truth Or Dare~?

Is kinda funny... i can cook better than i can put things in words... finding the correct words and line to say seems like hard for sometimes... but that doesn't mean that i don't know how to talk... i do... i talk a lot. but most of the time and most of the things i say is not important.

Is that a curse? i know my EQ is much higher than my IQ. how i wish that my EQ and my IQ is a balance sheet. talking too much sometimes makes me feel like a fool. Sugar rush is just an excuse for me to talk even more. but talk about what? RUBBISH... It's cool that sometimes we can talk rubbish. but not most of the time. I really need to find a way to cure this kind of rubbish talk. If anyone read this. Please drop me a comment and tell me how to cure such a sick and suck curse.

Is there any friends that really care? Or is there any friends that will not betray you? if you can find 1, congrat... you have a friend that you need to appreciate for the rest of your life. Until this moment, i can't find 1. sorry guys... but just that sometimes and somethings i don't and i won't tell you guys.

Is it going crazy is a cure for lonely? a lot of time i found myself going crazy, not in a bad way but just that feel like releasing myself to a level that nobody will understand. standing at the edge of a high building just to think should i jump or should i not. but... too bad i got no guts to jump... hahaha... doing somethings crazy... eating some crazy... will that help?

Is it bad when sometimes you talk about the truth? or is it bad when you speak something related to yourself that are the truth? Is it human must act no matter what you do and go? Is it when you facing the person that you love you have to act too? All this question makes someone to think... Like pastor said. Think How... Is it asking me to think how to act? or is it teaching me how to do something without act? Confuse...

I want to finish my studies as soon as possible... leaving everything behind and go some place to start everything all over again. to a place where nobody know me, to a place where nobody can find me, is that cruel? or is it i get a little bit selfish? i don't know... Let God decide for me.